Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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