This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
