I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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