I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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