If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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