Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
