I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize