That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
