Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
