She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
