Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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