We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
