Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This is classic penis vs brain.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
