FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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