Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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