let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
