are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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