Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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