Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
