And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Will you blow on my dice?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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