I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
