1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We have started to decorate penises.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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