I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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