i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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