someone get that fucking seahorse.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
