Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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