she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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