his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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