You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
