So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
