I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
