I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
