your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
