we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I intend to get homeless drunk
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
