people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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