I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize