Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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