I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
