Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
