this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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