he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
