I wish you could order shots online.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
