I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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