i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
