so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
not ubering you a puppy
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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