Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
