Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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