Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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