wat bout pragnant strippers??
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
