Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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