I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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