I just saw a hot homeless man
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
