Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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