Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
