Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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