hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
