My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
