he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
