I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
