I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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