What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
