Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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