you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
