remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
