Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize