he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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