If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
