You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
