She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
