the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
