great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You took a bar mat shot.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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