at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
