you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
