Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So. Much. Porn.
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