ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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