I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
