Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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