Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
