Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize