smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
