was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
