She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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